back again....

feeling introspective today
so decided to reopen the blog

its been a while
isnt it?

juz wondering

what is love?

what were the feelings i felt?
was it love...or juz teenage infatuation

its been dam long since i felt this way

the blueness gnawing away at the edge of my soul

when was the last time i realli felt dis saD?

i can't remember.

for so long
i have led as happy a life as i can

i have left all my defenses unattended

now...when the blues come
nothins stands between me and it
and then it hits me like a bulldozer

i m swept off my feet

i dun know how to response

all i can tink of...is the happier past...and how its all gone now

booking in tmr

i dun know how i m gonna survive this week in the goddamn army
i hope section 5 can cheer me up



it has been such a weird year
so mani new relationships in the span of 4 months
its crazy

and so mani broken ones as well....

met so mani ppl...that i felt so connected with
almost as if i knew them all my life

almost as if they r part of the bb guys, the dearest of all my frenz, the ppl i have known for so long we can second guess each other

almost like, long lost brothers.

perhaps its true den

i m finding someone to replace the nonexistent relationship i have with my younger brother
for years i have wondered
am i subconsiously searching for someone to replace my brother?
i dun know why i shud bother to
since i can jolly well survive without a younger brother, replacement or not.

dis post is indeed veri out of line with the rest of the post

i feel different

is it coz of the break up or is it the army

i m not sure

someting in me has changed.

i can feel it

its almost like i have finally broken a seal of innocence

like the first time harry potter seen death
everything from then on is different ... viewed in a different light
until he could see that stupid invis horsie that drew the carriages.

i nid someone to tok to.

but i dun know who.




i feel wiser ironically
as if i have seen everything in the world
tried everything

actually i did
almost.
except i havent tried working. marriage. and death. and having children too. and buying my own property.
mmm
that sounds like quite a bit.
perhaps i shud start working on it.

ok
who wants to be my wife?
drop me a mail
revenant_god@hotmail.com

rofl

life is short
do i have enuf time to do all that i want?