i m sorry

"The Reason"
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i m sorry.
i realli m not a perfect person.
i wish i could be a better boyfriend.
but i find dat it was the best i could do

now dat ur flying off
i dun know when i will see u again
fate were never too kind to us

initially i din realli wanna send u off.
coz i realli dun wanna cause u anymore pain
coz i noe the pain of things that were almost, but could never be

"And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away"

the past few weeks
i plunged headlong into activities
to forget everything
and for a moment. it seemed to work

but it will always creep back onto me
all the things dat could never be
and all the things dat shud never have been

deep inside me is so much guilt
destroying me from within
i try to build up barriers
but everytime i see your friends...
they will juz crumble
and memories of u come back through

of the pain i caused u

u know why i always din like u to cry?
coz the pain it costs me is more den dat u feel
this pain is different
its not guilt
guilt is drilled into us by social conditioning
but this pain
this pain is much more basic

it stems from the innate unwillingness to hurt others

i know the very sight of me
will inevitably start the whole cycle of hurt in u
dat is why i avoided u

i dun like to see a girl cry
especially if its because of me

i am really sorry.

i do hope u will enjoy urself in australia
and forget abt me
get someone better

by the time u read this. u shud be over there already
i hope u will realli realli enjoy urself over there

dun let dis shadow haunt u

well
if its any consolation
i have learned a lot
in the past 2 yrs

and i have so much to thank you for

thank you so much for returning me to the man i may and could be
for lifting me up from the bottom of the pit
for helping me get back my self-confidence
for reaffirming that i am something in this world

i walked out of depression
but you were the one who flew me to the stars and sat me on the highest one

i guess all the future accomplishments dat i will and can ever have, would not have been achieveable if not for you appearing in my life

you healed the wound in me
and saved my life from damnation

thankyou.

may our paths cross again. =)